When your loved one is in labor, it’s an exciting and emotional experience for you as the birth partner, too! You’re there to offer comfort, support, and encouragement through one of the most powerful moments of her life. But being a birth partner can also feel overwhelming—after all, there’s a lot going on, and you want to be as helpful as possible.
Here are some simple, friendly tips to help you stay calm and effective as a birth partner, so you can be the support she needs throughout labor and delivery.
1. Prepare Together Before Labor Begins
A little preparation goes a long way in helping you feel ready and confident! Spend some time together going over her birth plan and talking about what she envisions for her labor. Knowing her preferences for things like pain management, birth positions, and what comfort measures she wants can help you feel more prepared.
If you can, attend a childbirth class together. Many classes have sections specifically for birth partners, so you can learn hands-on skills like how to provide back rubs, practice breathing techniques, and understand the stages of labor. Plus, you’ll feel like a team going into this big event!
2. Stay Present and Go With the Flow
Labor is unpredictable, and things don’t always go as planned. Stay flexible, and be prepared to adapt to whatever comes up. Your calm presence can be incredibly reassuring when things don’t go exactly as expected.
Staying in the moment with her can make a huge difference. Focus on what she needs now rather than worrying about the next stage. Whether that means holding her hand, encouraging her to breathe, or just being there in quiet support, your presence will help her feel grounded and less alone.
3. Be Her Voice When She Needs It
In the intensity of labor, she may not feel like speaking up or might forget to mention what she needs. That’s where you come in! If she’s already shared her preferences with you, you can gently communicate these to the healthcare team, like asking for a birth ball, dimming the lights, or helping her remember her chosen pain management techniques.
You don’t have to take over, but by understanding her preferences, you can advocate for her when she needs it, helping her feel respected and supported.
4. Bring a “Bag of Tricks”
Pack a small “bag of tricks” with comfort items to help her through labor. Here are some ideas:
- Snacks and drinks for you both to keep your energy up.
- Massage tools (like a tennis ball or massage roller) to help with any back pain.
- Essential oils or lotion if she finds certain scents calming.
- Lip balm (labor can make lips dry).
- Cool washcloths or a handheld fan to keep her comfortable.
Having these items handy will help you feel ready to offer support, and she’ll appreciate the extra comfort and care.
5. Breathe with Her and Offer Reassurance
In the thick of labor, a few simple words of encouragement can work wonders. Remind her that she’s strong, that she’s doing an amazing job, and that every contraction brings her closer to meeting her baby.
If she’s practicing specific breathing techniques, join in and breathe with her. It might sound small, but when she sees you staying calm and steady, it helps her feel more in control, too. Just being a steady, positive presence can make a world of difference.
6. Stay Calm and Take Care of Yourself, Too
This is a big day for both of you, so make sure you’re also checking in with yourself. Labor can be a long process, so remember to eat, stay hydrated, and take a quick breather if you need one. You’ll be more effective if you’re not running on empty!
If you’re feeling nervous, take a few slow breaths to ground yourself, just as you would encourage her to do. The more you can manage your own stress, the more you’ll be able to stay focused and present for her.
7. Celebrate Small Wins Along the Way
Labor can feel like a marathon, so take a moment to recognize each milestone. Whether she’s reached a new stage of labor, managed a contraction, or just took a sip of water, celebrate those small victories together. Acknowledging these moments helps keep the mood positive and reminds her (and you) that progress is happening.
8. Remember: You’re Enough Just by Being There
You don’t have to have all the answers or be a birth expert. Just being there, offering love and reassurance, is often what she needs most. When she looks over and sees you by her side, it gives her strength.
So even if you’re unsure of what to do in the moment, know that your presence alone is incredibly powerful. Trust yourself, and trust the connection you have with her. You’ve got this!
The Takeaway
Being a birth partner is a beautiful role, and with a little preparation and some simple support strategies, you can be a calm, positive presence for her during labor. From staying present to offering comfort and reassurance, your role is all about being there when she needs you most. Remember, you don’t have to be perfect—just being by her side is already a huge gift.
Here’s to a smooth and empowering birth experience for both of you!