Carole Falletta, MS, MA, PMHNP-BC, FNP-BC, RNC-EFM, IBCLC, LCCE Carole is a nurse practitioner with over 30 years of experience in nursing, specializing in women's health, newborn care, and reproductive and postpartum mental health. Actively practicing in healthcare, she supports women and families during the perinatal journey through compassionate, evidence-based care. A dual board-certified nurse practitioner in psychiatric and family health, Carole is also an International Board-Certified Lactation Consultant (IBCLC) and Lamaze Certified Childbirth Educator, combining her clinical expertise and passion for education to empower mothers and babies.
So, you’re pregnant—and your emotions are all over the place. One moment you feel excited, the next you’re overwhelmed with uncertainty. Maybe you’ve always wanted to be a mom, but this pregnancy came with a lot of what-ifs. Or maybe you’re trying to balance that longing for motherhood with big questions about your relationship, your age, or your career.
If you’re feeling ambivalent—like you’re caught somewhere between joy and fear—you’re not alone. This space, the “in between,” is more common than people talk about. Let’s unpack it together.
Yes, You Can Want a Baby… and Still Feel Unsure
It’s totally possible to deeply want to become a mother and still feel conflicted about being pregnant. Maybe you imagined this chapter looking a little different: with a more stable relationship, a clearer career path, or a more solid plan. Instead, you’re here—excited and scared at the same time. And that doesn’t make you ungrateful or a bad parent. It makes you human.
When the Relationship Feels Unsteady
Pregnancy often brings big emotions to the surface, especially when your relationship isn’t in a steady or supportive place. You might be wondering:
- Can we raise a baby together?
- What if I have to do this alone?
- Will this baby bring us closer—or push us further apart?
These questions are valid and hard. But remember, your worth and your ability to parent are not defined by the state of your relationship. Plenty of strong, loving parents have started their journey in uncertainty—and created beautiful, stable lives for their children.
When You Feel the Clock Ticking
Maybe you’ve reached a point in life where your biological clock has been louder than ever. You knew motherhood was important to you, and now that it’s finally happening, you’re surprised by how complicated it feels.
You might be wondering: Why don’t I feel happier? Why does this still feel scary, even though I wanted it?
Because even when something is wanted, it can still bring change, loss of control, and a shift in identity. It’s okay to grieve the version of life you thought you’d have, while still embracing the one that’s unfolding.
When Your Career Dreams Are Still Unfinished
Maybe you’re building a career you love—or just starting to figure out what you want. A baby doesn’t mean that part of you has to be put on hold forever, but it may shift your timeline. That can bring feelings of guilt, resentment, or even mourning for the freedom you’re afraid of losing.
That doesn’t mean you’re not going to love your baby—it means you care about you, too. And that matters. You are allowed to want both: a thriving career and a nurturing family life. They’re not mutually exclusive, even if they require some juggling.
Mixed Emotions Don’t Mean You’re Not Ready
Feeling conflicted doesn’t mean you won’t be a great mom. In fact, self-reflection, honesty, and a willingness to explore your emotions often make people more thoughtful, intentional parents.
You are allowed to:
- Feel scared and excited
- Cry and laugh in the same hour
- Long for your old life while dreaming about your new one
- Ask for help and take your time figuring things out
So… What Can You Do with These Feelings?
- Talk to someone you trust—a friend, therapist, or counselor can help you sort through your thoughts without judgment.
- Write it out—journaling can help clarify what you’re feeling and why.
- Focus on one step at a time—you don’t need to have it all figured out today.
- Give yourself grace—you’re navigating a life-altering transition. That deserves compassion.
Holding Joy and Uncertainty Together
You can love the idea of being a mother and still grieve the loss of the life you thought you’d have. You can feel grateful and still feel overwhelmed. You can be uncertain and still be strong.
Whatever brought you to this moment, you’re allowed to sit with the complexity of it. This is your journey. There’s no “right” way to feel. Just your way.

Carole Falletta, MS, MA, PMHNP-BC, FNP-BC, RNC-EFM, IBCLC, LCCE Carole is a nurse practitioner with over 30 years of experience in nursing, specializing in women's health, newborn care, and reproductive and postpartum mental health. Actively practicing in healthcare, she supports women and families during the perinatal journey through compassionate, evidence-based care. A dual board-certified nurse practitioner in psychiatric and family health, Carole is also an International Board-Certified Lactation Consultant (IBCLC) and Lamaze Certified Childbirth Educator, combining her clinical expertise and passion for education to empower mothers and babies.