Let’s Talk About It: The Embarrassing Stuff No One Mentions About Giving Birth

Let’s be real—labor is raw, intense, and deeply personal. And while most conversations around childbirth focus on the medical facts, many women carry quiet, unspoken fears that feel just as important:

“What if I poop while pushing?”
“Will I scream, cry, or say something I’ll regret?”
“Will the nurses or doctors judge me?”

If you’ve ever had these thoughts, please know: you are not alone—and you are not the first (or the hundredth) to ask.

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“What if I poop while I’m pushing?”

This is the most common fear—and here’s the truth: it happens. And it’s okay.

When you’re pushing, you’re using the same muscles you use during a bowel movement. That’s how your body gets the baby out. So yes, a little stool might come out too. But here’s the thing:

Your nurses and providers do not care.
They expect it. They see it every day. They’ll quietly and quickly clean it up without saying a word or making a big deal of it. You probably won’t even notice.

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“What if I scream or cry?”

Guess what? You just might—and that’s totally okay too.

Labor is intense, emotional, and unpredictable. Some women stay quiet and calm. Others yell, cry, or roar like warriors. Both are normal.

There’s no “right” way to labor. This is your experience, and your team is there to support you—not to judge how you cope.

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“Will the staff judge me?”

Short answer? Absolutely not.

Labor and delivery nurses, midwives, doctors, and doulas have seen it all—every emotion, every bodily fluid, every possible scenario. Their job is to help you feel safe, heard, and cared for. If you cry, panic, poop, puke, sweat, or say something you didn’t mean—they’re not judging. They’re supporting.

No one looks their “best” during labor. You’re not supposed to. You’re doing one of the hardest, most powerful things a human can do. That’s not messy—it’s incredible.

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Here’s What You Can Do Instead of Worrying

• Talk about it ahead of time. Let your provider or support team know if you’re nervous about losing control.
• Build a team you trust. Whether it’s your partner, doula, nurse, or OB, surround yourself with people who help you feel calm and empowered.
• Give yourself permission to let go. This is the moment to surrender to what your body needs to do. You can’t control every second—and that’s okay.

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You Are Not a Mess—You Are Magnificent

It may not feel graceful, but birth is a powerful act of strength, vulnerability, and love. If you cry, shake, or scream—it’s not weakness. It’s your body bringing life into the world.

So please let go of the fear of looking “silly” or “out of control.” You’re not. You’re birthing your baby—and that makes you brave beyond measure.